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Thursday, September 6, 2012


Photo taken on Honeymoon at SFMoma :)

I've been rather quiet this summer, but it's not because there's nothing to say. I've been busy, yes, but I wasn't sure why I wasn't writing. Over the past week, I've felt something in the back of my mind - an idea that wouldn't quite come to the surface - that just might be worth a post.

I finally realized last night that I haven't been uninspired, like I thought; rather, I've been so inspired over the past three years that I needed time to let the huge, life-changing things that have happened wash over me.

I'm sure many of you have experienced this: when you're unhappy, it's hard to imagine a blissful life. You might even badger yourself for not "finding joy despite the circumstances." I know I did. And maybe that is an important goal to keep, and maybe my own thinking has shifted. Maybe I did redefine success; maybe I did find new creative outlets. But, the most basic, beautiful truth is that I was given clarity. I've used that word before. Clarity. That moment when suddenly all The Other Things make sense. That moment when it makes sense that you stopped singing. That moment when it makes sense that you wasted spent 3.5 months living in a horrible place working for horrible people. That moment when The Other Things come together to paint a bigger, more important picture.

Clarity didn't come in one tightly-wrapped box with perfect edges. Those are saved only for Christmas presents wrapped by the one John Young Shik Concklin. Clarity sneaked in at different moments, from different messengers. Clarity might not have been the answer you thought you wanted for the past 15 years. No, that's not what I wanted, planned, hoped. For me, though (is this common? I suspect so), Clarity is better. It comes with more joy and peace than I've ever experienced. It comes with contentment, and it comes with excitement about what lies ahead.

Clarity came (is coming) for me in three forms: as an artist, as a partner, and as a professional. More on that later.



  1. that is amazing! :) i'm francine, and on your facebook list of friends because i'd been at a PAI session years ago when you were there too (as a counsellor, i think?) and ... this post, on Clarity, is really inspiring, and gives me a sense of hope and peace, at a time when i feel that i'm at a crossroads and nothing really makes sense yet... so i wanted to thank you ! and i remember that, at PAI, all of us students were awe-struck by your singing in the recital! Hope you have a nice day :)

    1. Hi Francine, of course I remember you! Thank you so much for your sweet note - it completely made my day. I know you will figure everything out, and I hope you have a wonderful day too!


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