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Wednesday, July 18, 2012

How do you make friends?

Thelma & Louise, friends to the end.

You might have seen this article last week in the New York Times about trying to make friends as a grown up. John and I have had a lot of conversations about this recently - we feel ourselves settling down in Greenville and want to make sure we have good people to see on the weekends. Alex Williams is right, though - it is starting to feel impossible to form new relationships.

Luckily, I have a couple of good college friends nearby and work with some great people, but if that weren't the case, we might be in trouble. Our jaunt around the country certainly didn't help us form lasting relationships, and as we inch towards 30, I feel the ability to cultivate new friendship slipping through my fingers like sand on a beach.

Being married actually makes it harder. Now there are added layers of complexity: do both partners get along, can the wives and husbands switch around in conversation, can the couples afford the same social activities? I'll admit that I'm less inclined to ask a girlfriend to go for a drink after work, because I'm eager to get home and paint or hang out with John (don't throw up). And John isn't exactly beating down the neighbors' doors to watch football when I'll watch it with him at home. 

I've met two people during the downtown lunch hour with whom I wanted to be friends. One was so sweet she offered to let me, a perfect stranger, borrow her necklace for an event. I don't even know the other one's name. There was a third person - in my neighborhood! - who was a friendly dog owner, but I thought it seemed a little matronly (or desperate) to knock on her door the next week with freshly baked cookies.

John and I both have amazing friends from home and college, but without money to constantly travel, it's hard to get our fix. Neighborhoods no longer have cookouts or baseball games, and becoming someone's social media connection only discourages us from asking them real questions. 

So, is our chance to form meaningful relationships over? I'd love to hear what you think. :)


  1. Hi Lauren,
    I came across your blog from a comment you had left on Joanna Goddard's post, http://joannagoddard.blogspot.com/2012/07/the-difficulty-of-making-friends-as.html
    I wanted to reach out to you because I, too, can relate to the difficulties associated with making new friends. I am currently building a company that helps make meeting new people and making new connections a lot easier. The website is called Ovooko and we have designed a way for people all over the world to discover and connect with new and interesting people living nearby, based on their shared interests and networks. The site allows members to easily create and attend fun events, post content, engage in conversations, and receive introductions from mutual facebook friends. Ovooko is 100% non dating oriented and is geared specifically towards meeting new people, making new friendships, and expanding your network. If you have a second I would be honored if you would check it out www.ovooko.com. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

    nicole.baker (at) ovooko (dot) com

  2. This is really very hard thing to understand the nature and need of the opposite people to get the proper response. We also have managed a site in which we have aim to get make friends online


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