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Showing posts with label couples. Show all posts
Showing posts with label couples. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

How do you make friends?

Thelma & Louise, friends to the end.

You might have seen this article last week in the New York Times about trying to make friends as a grown up. John and I have had a lot of conversations about this recently - we feel ourselves settling down in Greenville and want to make sure we have good people to see on the weekends. Alex Williams is right, though - it is starting to feel impossible to form new relationships.

Luckily, I have a couple of good college friends nearby and work with some great people, but if that weren't the case, we might be in trouble. Our jaunt around the country certainly didn't help us form lasting relationships, and as we inch towards 30, I feel the ability to cultivate new friendship slipping through my fingers like sand on a beach.

Being married actually makes it harder. Now there are added layers of complexity: do both partners get along, can the wives and husbands switch around in conversation, can the couples afford the same social activities? I'll admit that I'm less inclined to ask a girlfriend to go for a drink after work, because I'm eager to get home and paint or hang out with John (don't throw up). And John isn't exactly beating down the neighbors' doors to watch football when I'll watch it with him at home. 

I've met two people during the downtown lunch hour with whom I wanted to be friends. One was so sweet she offered to let me, a perfect stranger, borrow her necklace for an event. I don't even know the other one's name. There was a third person - in my neighborhood! - who was a friendly dog owner, but I thought it seemed a little matronly (or desperate) to knock on her door the next week with freshly baked cookies.

John and I both have amazing friends from home and college, but without money to constantly travel, it's hard to get our fix. Neighborhoods no longer have cookouts or baseball games, and becoming someone's social media connection only discourages us from asking them real questions. 

So, is our chance to form meaningful relationships over? I'd love to hear what you think. :)



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