What is Marriage: One Whole Year

It feels just like yesterday that I woke up with all my closest friends and started the day that would end with a husband. But unbelievably, it's been a whole year.

What is Marriage: When the first year is over

When John and I called his aunt and uncle for Christmas (Uncle Mason, sweetest man alive), his aunt said something that made my heart melt. They've been married 52 years, and as she marveled that we are well on our way to our first anniversary, she said "wow, that first year is such a wonderful one." I felt a fleeting sadness at the thought that this blissful time could end, until I heard her say, "but the next 49, they were even better."

That was reassuring, because there's sadness in the passage of time, especially when it's joyful.  I was happy to hear, from one who knows, that the best is yet to come.

Maybe marriage is about extending the honeymoon, as long as possible.

Wedding Photobooks from Pinhole Press

After a wedding, it's hard to know what to do with all your beautiful photos without having an obnoxious overload in your home. This year for Christmas, John and I wanted to give my parents a photobook with our wedding's important family moments, both to help them remember and to say thank you for giving us such an amazing day.

We used Pinhole Press, and I couldn't be more pleased. The finished product was sophisticated and beautiful, and I think Mom and Dad loved it. We created a calendar for John's mom, too, which also turned out very well. I've always loved their design, so it was great to find out that the final product and customer service are excellent.

John and I plan to create our own wedding album with Pinhole Press sometime this year, and if you need personalized gifts or stationery, I couldn't recommend them more.

One Last Wedding Tip

As a final homage to six months of marriage, here's one last wedding thought:

No matter what you do, or how your makeup looks, or what florist or vendor might be calling, carve out a few moments with the people who matter most. You'll remember them for the rest of your life. 

With Dad, it was his great toast and this hug.

With Mom, it was a quiet moment in the bedroom upstairs.

With Ellen, it was when I decided that despite being fully dressed, I had to take it all off and go to the bathroom anyway.

With Slifer, it was when he came out of nowhere to throw that wad of tissue over John's shoulder during our vows.

Our Vanderbilt friends hid us in a corner while we ate everything in sight.

Tara brought me wine before the reception and made sure my hair didn't look crazy. I saw Carolyn right after the ceremony with tears in her eyes. Tally came to say hi before going to play in the park across the street. My big sister was there just like always.

I could go on and on.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for being amazing. 

xo.

Wedding Planning Tips

Hi, friends! In honor of being married for a whole half year, a wedding post.

The best five lessons I learned about planning a wedding:

Baltimore Nuptials

Megan and Rob are married!

I went back to Baltimore this weekend to celebrate their now official life together. They throw an incredible party, which will surprise absolutely no one who knows them. The wedding was at Gutierrez Studios, an industrial venue that's like a really giant, fancy woodshop. There are tools everywhere. But not in a bad way. It added to the charm and kept everything feeling laid back. The ceremony had more laughter than any I've ever seen, a little bit of quintessential Meg and Rob and their reminder never to take anything too seriously. It was also super sweet, because what's a wedding without some botched eyeliner and smudgy mascara?

Throw in a giant red cake in the shape of a crab, a little potted succulent on each table, and amazing music, and suddenly you have the perfect party.

Oh, and really good call on the kimchi. Every wedding guest should be so lucky.

Megan, Rob, congratulations and happily ever after! I'll be back soon to camp on your roof.

August

This lovely ode to August has me thinking about the coming month more than I was before I found it. In fact, I was thinking mostly about September, which only proves Zak's point. August is a means to an end - the ambiguous bridge between carefree summer and get-to-work fall.

At work, I'm thinking about September and how to prepare. At home, we're painting our townhouse. We're planning our careers. We are moving into new things.

For us, August means settling down. The buzz of our engagement and wedding has dwindled, and we've had time to recover. As August begins, my daydreams are divided by breezy beaches and October football games. I think of sand under my toes, but then I remember the crisp, alluring scent of autumn's air.

This is the month I spend a little extra time hugging Herbie, and I miss my little brother. I think of visiting Atlanta but can't be sure when it'll be. I read a lot. I remember that I wanted to make a really great Sangria before the season's end, but I think about picking apples to resurrect that cake from Cleveland.

August, you're open to interpretation, and I'm glad you're here.


p.s. Photo from August 2011 in Charleston.



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Our Wedding {Final Farewell}

Dear Friends,

Here are the final photos from our wedding. Thank you for letting me share them with you. More importantly, thank you for sharing the best year of our lives with us.

xo!

Our Wedding {Reception 2}

Slifer's toast. You can tell how sweet it was by the looks on everyone's faces. 

Our Wedding {Reception 1}

Hello friends!

So many of you played a huge role in making this past year special for us, and these photos are a constant reminder of that. It's so nice to share them with you!

"For the first time as husband and wife..."

I love that my dad and I are making exactly the same face.

Our First Dance was "I Want You to Want Me," which was an early inside joke (pre-dating!) that later became our token song. 

Our Wedding {Decor}

I had a really good time planning and designing our wedding. My family thought I was a little crazy when I insisted that we stick to a certain (early) timeline, but I'm really glad I followed it; it made the weeks around the wedding pretty stress free! I was busy beforehand, but it never became unmanageable. 

Our Wedding {Party}

I knew this before the wedding, but my friends are seriously amazing. My bridesmaids are the most warmhearted, fun group of women. 

Our Wedding {Ceremony 2}

Our longtime friend Sue helped my vision for flowers become a reality. I told her I wanted them to look slightly wild, with lots of peach and yellow and soft orange. Not only did she do a gorgeous job - she was also a joy to have around. It makes a difference to surround yourself with sunny people during a time that everyone seems to think should be stressful. 

John and I are both classical musicians, which is probably why we didn't want that style for our ceremony. We had been thinking fun, laid back, and "bluegrassy" all along, but when I decided to walk down the aisle to a folk song, it sealed the deal. I remember being surprised to hear singing when I walked out expecting instrumental - and laughing in the back of my mind, thinking if this is what will "go wrong" today, it's fine with me.

Our Wedding {Ceremony I}

Hi friends,

Hooray, we have our wedding photos! Once Like a Spark did a beautiful job of capturing the day, and I'm so excited to share it with you!

Our Wedding {Rehearsal Dinner}

On Friday night, everyone headed to our Rehearsal Dinner at Rose Hill Estate. People tend to have tunnel vision looking towards a wedding reception as the big event, and it's true that the wedding requires tons more work. It was so special, though, to have everyone at the more intimate Rehearsal Dinner. To have best friends and family all together over cocktails and a nice meal is unforgettable.

{Leading up to} Our Wedding

After our friends arrived in Aiken, we wasted no time. We made pedicures our priority before having dinner Thursday at Tako Sushi. Next, we had a party at the bridesmaids' house - a huge cottage we rented at Rose Hill Estate. It was so much fun to stay together and share a house! Highly recommended. We used the cottage for a shower, sun bathing, and even the Farewell Brunch on Sunday morning after the wedding.

{The week of} Our Wedding

I'd like to do a little series about our wedding. It's a way to record a big moment in our life, and most importantly, a place where our future children can read about the way I felt to marry their father. :)

Our wedding week was a thrilling blur of errands and checklists. It was so fun to be at home for longer than the usual 2-3 days with my parents and brother. I had to make endless to-do lists, because I was constantly too excited to remember what I needed to do next.

Update.

We're back!

We're married!

We're so happy!

Et cetera!

Hi friends. We have lots of catching up to do. First, an update:

1. Our wedding day was, without doubt, the best day of our lives - both individually and as a couple.
2. Our honeymoon followed suit to make it - you guessed it - the best week of our lives. 
3. We are overwhelmingly touched by the amount of love and support we felt from our friends and family the weekend we got married. We have more gratitude than I could possibly express in words.
4. Said friends and family are SO MUCH FUN.
5. San Francisco would be an incredible place to live. 
6. California's wine country is unbelievably gorgeous.
7. We're on a serious wedding and love-related high right now, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  

Coming soon:

Our Wedding

Our Honeymoon

Planning a Wedding

Next Project: Home Decor (or even just buying a bookshelf)

Mr. and Mrs. 

Fairy Tale Wedding

Creating a wedding to represent John and me has been on my mind for a year now. It's been so much fun to find ways to share our love story along the way.

Speaking of love stories, I couldn't help but get swept up in these fairy tale wedding photos from the wedding of Grace Kelly and Prince Rainer III of Monaco. How glamorous! The most striking thing is Grace's earnestness; it's just gorgeous.  

I love that  photos from the end of their lives are included, too. See the entire post and photo credits here. 

The Thing About Bridal Showers

In March, some of my closest friends and family gathered for bridal showers that I'll never forget. Here's why:

I've never been an Elizabeth Gilbert fan. I thought I would be at one point. I was eager to read Eat, Pray, Love, only to put it down after a few chapters. There's something about her voice that annoys me - the sarcasm, the constant attempt to be clever?  I'm not sure.

Despite this aversion, my curiosity was piqued when she published Committed last year. Maybe it was the shiny new ring I had on my left hand, or maybe it was the 20 hours I had in the car between Brattleboro and Atlanta. Either way, in that desperate moment when early radio programming fades to mid-morning oblivion, I found myself downloading it on my iPhone.

What I got was typical Gilbert paired with some fascinating information on infidelity studies and the gene that makes men good partners. Last month's showers left me thinking a lot about my favorite part of the book - the description of Laotian wedding customs. 

According to Gilbert, when one receives a wedding invitation in a Laotian village, he puts money in the envelope and later gives it to the couple on their wedding day. The bride and groom then carefully record each gift in a ledger that they will later use to see how much they should give that individual on her wedding day. The understanding is that you give that amount back - plus a little more (interest) if you can. So this wedding money isn't really a "gift" at all; it's an investment in the new couple's lives. It's a foundation that allows the couple to buy a home or start a business in a way that wouldn't have been possible without this community support. Gilbert elegantly describes it as "an exhaustively catalogued and ever-shifting loan, circulating from one family to the next as each new couple starts a life together." It says - we believe in you, and we want you to succeed.

After getting engaged, I felt a little weird about creating a registry. It seemed presumptuous and greedy to send the message that those invited to celebrate with us "should" give us a gift. I didn't want others to feel that I expected these things. I was convinced by our mothers that people appreciate the guidance, so off we went with scanners and checklists.

In March, I was overwhelmed by the generosity shown at our showers. My friends know me so well, and they are wonderful and fun and loving and kind. Their support makes the Maxwell-Concklin foundation feel even stronger than it already was. They are, like the little Laotian village, generously investing in not just our kitchen, but us. They are all pitching in to help get us on our feet. And now, for the rest of our lives, we will be able to do the same for young couples to come. What a lovely concept, and what an honor.

                                       xo,

                                          Lauren

P.S. This talk on nurturing creativity by Gilbert is wonderful.

P.P.S. Some photos of a shower in Greenville, given by my MOH, Ellen:

oldest friends and bridesmaids - Britt and Tara

Mom and Tara