Lessons Learned & Progress Made

Whew, you guys. It's been a crazy three months. In a great way.

I've learned a lot. There's a thing where you learn some stuff and another thing where your life actually changes, and mine was the latter. The second I insisted on positive energy was the moment I realized I was manifesting change.

We've made so many friends, and they're wonderful. Our view of the social landscape in our city has transformed, for the better. The way better. We were ready to leave at a moment's notice, but now we love Greenville. It's amazing the difference finding your people can make.

I've been working harder than ever. I've learned a lot about burning the candle at both ends and switching careers. When you leave something you chose at 16, and get to know yourself again as an adult, it takes some time to figure out where you want to land. For me, it took 1.5 years to discover where I want to be, with the help of some serendipitous landmarks and road signs. I've seen rewards, but I'm still working like a madwoman to make it happen. Though I'm not quite there yet, I feel close enough to stop for a second and write this post.

I've learned professional lessons. I understand that as disingenuous as I considered it to be, "networking" is indeed the way to go. And instead of a weird popularity contest, sometimes it's just nice people who want to help each other. Social media makes it easier, but it's time-consuming. I've learned that thinking outside the box and being resourceful - and finding others willing to do the same - is my best bet.

I've realized that being open, asking for help, letting my go-to reaction be "yes," and taking time to stop, smile, say hello makes all the difference. Inviting positive energy into your life, or believing you deserve it, can be half the battle.

Another transformative thing was yoga every day. Okay, almost every day. I used to be a twice a week person. This summer proved that finding physical activity that makes you wildly happy and sticking to it has great rewards. It also provides a sense of community. And I've consumed the coconut water of 500 coconuts.

It's normal for twenty-somethings to be asking questions. John and I have been wondering where we'll end up, what we'll do, how we'll contribute something to this crazy world. And perhaps for the first time ever, I'm enjoying the process instead of demanding an answer.

In the midst of a time filled with change, questions, and excitement, two things remain: John and Herbie. I'm grateful as ever.

What a Summer: Relentlessly Being in the Present

What a summer. That's a common phrase. Summer is the stuff dreams are made of. As a child, you spend nine grueling months of the year doing things like homework and studying, but all the while, you're dreaming of summer -- sweet, cheerful, lazy summer. Even as I approach the end of my twenties, I find that sentiment remains.

Makers

Will you watch this tonight?

"There are women who fight for something bigger than themselves."

Week in Women: Human Rights

If you're like me, you're constantly watching women's issues with the frustration and hope that pervades all of us in 2013. We're so close. Yet, not at all.

You watch Michelle and Hillary intently, and you groan when Sheryl Sandberg's comments are so good and so bad at the same time. You saw that good piece in the NY Times Saturday about the need to redefine women's rights in the workplace to human rights in the workplace, and you've been following the conversation about the benefits of universal preschool.

Stephanie Coontz is right - gender equality hasn't just stalled. We've hit a wall. Sometimes it's hard to know what to do next. Education and conversations about these things are a step in the right direction. Here's one of the best lists I've seen of gender equality principles. It helped me to see everything in one place, and I thought you might like it, too. The organization who created it suggests encouraging your company to complete their workplace assessment, which seems well-intentioned but a bit far-fetched. The Work-Life balance section feels especially pressing to me on a personal level, at age 27 - in a time when working more hours means more success, how do I make my career and family ambitions complement one another?


photo via

Week in Women: Gender at Work and Sheryl Sandberg

Sheryl Sandberg is both right and wrong. Her recent comments about employers asking women about getting pregnant before hiring have understandably elicited quite a backlash. Perhaps they were well-intentioned, because of course we do need a more open dialogue about gender in the workplace.

She says we need to lean in, be more ambitious, be more assertive. She fails to address the gaping fact that those who are leaning in aren't getting anywhere. Only 17% of Fortune 500 board seats are held by women, only 3% of board presidents are women, but if you're reading this, you probably know that. As we've discussed, the Ambition Gap is a myth.

Here are some good links:

Background on Sandberg and some interesting numbers on gender in the workplace.

The best response to her pregnancy comments I've seen, in which Kristof calls for structural, accommodating changes in the workplace paired with ambitious women.

Horrible suggestions from Aol about negotiating raises and fair pay. Basically, do your best to perpetuate stereotypes, and you might get a higher salary.

Pair this article with the number of dishes John washes, and we are going to have one crazy ambitious daughter. Wahoo!

Baby Fever is Real

There's truth behind baby fever. I never really believed it until this past year, but the biological clock is no joke. I always knew I would have a child someday, but I never actively wanted one. At some point after turning 27, the way I viewed babies changed. Suddenly, they were much cuter and so irresistible. I found myself thinking about them and how wonderful it will be to have our own. (Not anytime soon :)